Gifts for your Guests
What to give, how much to spend, personalisation, and culture
The tradition of giving gifts back to wedding guests has a long history. When Lorenzo the Magnificent married in the 1460s, he had tables laid throughout the city of Florence and provided a feast for all the citizens. Ukrainian weddings are often followed by a period of general thievery and mischief, where wedding guests steal chickens and other foods from houses in the village, carry them off to the groom’s house, and cook and eat them them - this is seen as the village giving a gift to the newlyweds – whether it wants to or not!
Today we tend to give our wedding guests a small gift or ‘favour’ as a thank you for their presence during the wedding. These are not the special gifts given to bridesmaids, ushers and the other people who have a significant role in your big day, but just a pretty and appropriate memento which each guest can enjoy.
Part of the fun of planning your wedding is working out how the overall theme can be expressed at every stage of the day. When you’re considering what gifts to choose for your guests, make sure they harmonise with your theme and colour scheme.
The most common gift or favour is a bomboniere: a pretty container that traditionally held five sugared almonds. Other options range from the traditional lacy pouch through to elegant boxes and onto whimsical hat and clothing shaped designs – something to suit every wedding. For other sweet-toothed favours consider small chocolates which can be personalised with your names and the date of your wedding.
A lottery ticket in a beautiful personalised wallet is also a wonderful favour – and there’s always the chance that one of your guests will win a fortune, but ask them to think of you if they do!
Seed packets and seed sticks are a new and (literally) growing arena for wedding favours. They can be personalised, and give your guests a chance to grow flowers at home that will remind them of your special day.
Let's not forget the children. A teddy makes a wonderful gift and gives little ones something to cuddle up to during the reception when they may get just a touch bored and tired.
A decorative item can be a wonderful keepsake for your guests. Place card holders are both attractive and practical, and many people are using picture frames for this purpose. Personalised candles can be used during an evening reception and then taken home by the guests to use again and again. Wine glasses are a more costly item but will be cherished by your guests, especially if they are engraved with your personal details.
Many couples agonise about how much to spend. As a rule of thumb, it’s about right to spend as much on a gift as you would have done in buying that person a celebratory drink – there is nothing to stop you spending more, but don’t make your guests feel uncomfortable by spending too much on them. Another way of looking at it is that your gift back to them should not exceed around 10% of the value of the gift they’ve given you. As you’re giving every guest the same gift, that should be around 10% of the lowest cost item on your wedding gift list, not the most expensive!
Remember to order favours and gifts at least three months in advance if you are having them personalised and be sure to order more than you think you’ll need. There are bound to be last minute guests and you’ll want a couple to keep as souvenirs.
It’s perfectly acceptable to give one favour per couple if they are more expensive than the average. If this is what you decide to do, then rather than put them at the place settings on the reception tables, you could have a separate side table set up and the favours labelled with each couple’s names – it avoids any confusion about ‘one each’ or ‘one between two’ and guests can be reminded to collect them as they leave.
Bear in mind that different cultures have different beliefs. Chinese and Japanese customs dictate that white is an unlucky colour. Chinese gifts are wrapped in red paper or delivered in red envelopes, so it’s not unheard of for Chinese guests to feel very uncomfortable about white wedding invitations and white boxes for favours and cake slices: because it seems a very bad omen to them. If your wedding guests are a multicultural group, check discreetly if there are any customs you should be aware of, for example, at many Indonesia weddings the guests are given a small token on arrival: a fan, key ring, notepad or similar. Attached to this item will be a ‘thank you for your attendance’ ticket which takes the place of the note we traditionally send to thank guests for the gift they have given the couple, so as far as the young marrieds are concerned, they’ve sent their thank yous even before they’ve exchanged their vows!
The tradition of giving gifts back to wedding guests has a long history. When Lorenzo the Magnificent married in the 1460s, he had tables laid throughout the city of Florence and provided a feast for all the citizens. Ukrainian weddings are often followed by a period of general thievery and mischief, where wedding guests steal chickens and other foods from houses in the village, carry them off to the groom’s house, and cook and eat them them - this is seen as the village giving a gift to the newlyweds – whether it wants to or not!Today we tend to give our wedding guests a small gift or ‘favour’ as a thank you for their presence during the wedding. These are not the special gifts given to bridesmaids, ushers and the other people who have a significant role in your big day, but just a pretty and appropriate memento which each guest can enjoy.
Part of the fun of planning your wedding is working out how the overall theme can be expressed at every stage of the day. When you’re considering what gifts to choose for your guests, make sure they harmonise with your theme and colour scheme.
The most common gift or favour is a bomboniere: a pretty container that traditionally held five sugared almonds. Other options range from the traditional lacy pouch through to elegant boxes and onto whimsical hat and clothing shaped designs – something to suit every wedding. For other sweet-toothed favours consider small chocolates which can be personalised with your names and the date of your wedding.A lottery ticket in a beautiful personalised wallet is also a wonderful favour – and there’s always the chance that one of your guests will win a fortune, but ask them to think of you if they do!
Seed packets and seed sticks are a new and (literally) growing arena for wedding favours. They can be personalised, and give your guests a chance to grow flowers at home that will remind them of your special day.Let's not forget the children. A teddy makes a wonderful gift and gives little ones something to cuddle up to during the reception when they may get just a touch bored and tired.
A decorative item can be a wonderful keepsake for your guests. Place card holders are both attractive and practical, and many people are using picture frames for this purpose. Personalised candles can be used during an evening reception and then taken home by the guests to use again and again. Wine glasses are a more costly item but will be cherished by your guests, especially if they are engraved with your personal details.
Many couples agonise about how much to spend. As a rule of thumb, it’s about right to spend as much on a gift as you would have done in buying that person a celebratory drink – there is nothing to stop you spending more, but don’t make your guests feel uncomfortable by spending too much on them. Another way of looking at it is that your gift back to them should not exceed around 10% of the value of the gift they’ve given you. As you’re giving every guest the same gift, that should be around 10% of the lowest cost item on your wedding gift list, not the most expensive!
Remember to order favours and gifts at least three months in advance if you are having them personalised and be sure to order more than you think you’ll need. There are bound to be last minute guests and you’ll want a couple to keep as souvenirs.
It’s perfectly acceptable to give one favour per couple if they are more expensive than the average. If this is what you decide to do, then rather than put them at the place settings on the reception tables, you could have a separate side table set up and the favours labelled with each couple’s names – it avoids any confusion about ‘one each’ or ‘one between two’ and guests can be reminded to collect them as they leave.
Bear in mind that different cultures have different beliefs. Chinese and Japanese customs dictate that white is an unlucky colour. Chinese gifts are wrapped in red paper or delivered in red envelopes, so it’s not unheard of for Chinese guests to feel very uncomfortable about white wedding invitations and white boxes for favours and cake slices: because it seems a very bad omen to them. If your wedding guests are a multicultural group, check discreetly if there are any customs you should be aware of, for example, at many Indonesia weddings the guests are given a small token on arrival: a fan, key ring, notepad or similar. Attached to this item will be a ‘thank you for your attendance’ ticket which takes the place of the note we traditionally send to thank guests for the gift they have given the couple, so as far as the young marrieds are concerned, they’ve sent their thank yous even before they’ve exchanged their vows!
