Hearts and flowers, birds and bows: the history behind traditional wedding symbols
Every wedding, even the most modern, contains symbols and behaviours that date back to our earliest history. These traditions change and evolve until they bear little resemblance to their original reason for existing, but by looking at their first purposes, we can create wedding days that bring the traditions back to life, by using them to shape a wedding day that fulfils our dreams.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
This ancient verse is often adhered to by brides with little or no reason why they do it! Three of the four elements actually have quite practical purposes.
Something old was usually an item the bride borrowed from a member of her family, like a piece of jewellery: this showed her family approved of the marriage and would support the young couple.
Something new was often purchased for the bride by her family, or her husband to be, and it gave her a foundation in life; if she’d lived with her parents until marriage this might be the very first thing she’d owned apart from her clothes, and once she married, all her goods and chattels would belong to her husband, so this one ‘new’ thing was her own piece of property and could be used, for example, to secure a loan if she became widowed.
Something borrowed was a way for the community to comment on a planned marriage – a couple whose wedding wasn’t sanctioned by their neighbours wouldn’t be able to borrow an item. This wasn’t so important on the wedding day, but in times of hardship it could mean life or death if your village wouldn’t share food with you: so the community could encourage a couple to think again about getting married, by refusing to lend things for the wedding.
In the early Christian church, blue represented purity and both the bride and the groom would often wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding clothes, or blue sashes, to show they were good Christians - hence something blue.
Wedding Rings
The Romans believed the vein in the third finger was connected to the heart, so rings worn on that finger linked a couples’ hearts.
Wedding Flowers
Originally women probably carried symbols of fertility to their weddings: ears of corn or herbs and other grains. During times of plague and pestilence, both men and women carried ‘nosegays’ posies of flowers that were both pleasant to sniff – especially when passing an open sewer! – and were believed to stave off infection: rue, tansy and even garlic were common in these bouquets. Over time, this became a bunch of flowers, many of which had special meanings in the language of flowers. This is not just a western tradition: in Hawaii the bride and groom have garlands of flowers called leis slipped over their heads before and after the wedding ceremony, and many Asian couples are crowned with special flowers like marigolds, which symbolise prosperity and good fortune. When you’re planning your wedding, bear in mind the following meanings behind the flowers you choose to carry, and even the ones that decorate your invitations and table stationery:
Roses - White roses stand for purity and peace, red represent passion and pink and yellow roses both mean friendship.
Carnations - A red carnation says that the wearer’s heart is aching for his or her love, and a white carnation hides the message that the carrier or sender is still unattached.
Lilies - Have always been associated with purity and religious faith. Many people consider lilies to be funeral flowers, because their traditional meaning is ‘strong in the faith’ and was used at the time of death to show that the person who had passed over was a good Christian.
Orchids - In antiquity, orchids were correlated with love and fertility, not least because some of the orchid family are rather phallic in shape! If you carry or receive orchids they convey the twin messages of seduction and preciousness.
Veil
There are many reasons for the bride wearing a veil, depending on the culture. In some societies the husband didn’t see his bride before the marriage and covering her face until the ceremony was over might have been a way of making sure he didn’t change his mind on the way to the wedding if he didn’t like the look of her! Our tradition of having groomsmen and bridesmaids dressed like the bridal couple harks back to a Roman superstition which said that evil spirits would be attracted to a wedding by the food and noise. If they couldn’t decide which two were bride and groom, they wouldn’t know who to fling their curses at. Covering the bride’s face was another way of confusing evil spirits.
Love Knot
Young Muslim women used to send messages of love to their sweethearts by weaving a carpet whose knots spelled out their secret affection - sending messages through knots has evolved into the concept of love knots seen today on so many cards, and even wedding dresses. In Europe, young people used to make love knots for each other, tucking the ends of the knot out of sight so that the knot appeared endless, like the love they were symbolising.
Blue birds, love birds and doves
There was once a belief that love birds pined to death if their mate died. The dove was a Christian symbol of purity, and also the favourite bird of Venus, goddess of Love, and a blue bird symbolises happiness. Any or all three birds turn up on invitations and wrapping paper, to show the affection and fidelity that the couple will share.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
This ancient verse is often adhered to by brides with little or no reason why they do it! Three of the four elements actually have quite practical purposes.
Something old was usually an item the bride borrowed from a member of her family, like a piece of jewellery: this showed her family approved of the marriage and would support the young couple.
Something new was often purchased for the bride by her family, or her husband to be, and it gave her a foundation in life; if she’d lived with her parents until marriage this might be the very first thing she’d owned apart from her clothes, and once she married, all her goods and chattels would belong to her husband, so this one ‘new’ thing was her own piece of property and could be used, for example, to secure a loan if she became widowed.
Something borrowed was a way for the community to comment on a planned marriage – a couple whose wedding wasn’t sanctioned by their neighbours wouldn’t be able to borrow an item. This wasn’t so important on the wedding day, but in times of hardship it could mean life or death if your village wouldn’t share food with you: so the community could encourage a couple to think again about getting married, by refusing to lend things for the wedding.
In the early Christian church, blue represented purity and both the bride and the groom would often wear a blue band around the bottom of their wedding clothes, or blue sashes, to show they were good Christians - hence something blue.
Wedding Rings
The Romans believed the vein in the third finger was connected to the heart, so rings worn on that finger linked a couples’ hearts.
Wedding Flowers
Originally women probably carried symbols of fertility to their weddings: ears of corn or herbs and other grains. During times of plague and pestilence, both men and women carried ‘nosegays’ posies of flowers that were both pleasant to sniff – especially when passing an open sewer! – and were believed to stave off infection: rue, tansy and even garlic were common in these bouquets. Over time, this became a bunch of flowers, many of which had special meanings in the language of flowers. This is not just a western tradition: in Hawaii the bride and groom have garlands of flowers called leis slipped over their heads before and after the wedding ceremony, and many Asian couples are crowned with special flowers like marigolds, which symbolise prosperity and good fortune. When you’re planning your wedding, bear in mind the following meanings behind the flowers you choose to carry, and even the ones that decorate your invitations and table stationery:Roses - White roses stand for purity and peace, red represent passion and pink and yellow roses both mean friendship.
Carnations - A red carnation says that the wearer’s heart is aching for his or her love, and a white carnation hides the message that the carrier or sender is still unattached.
Lilies - Have always been associated with purity and religious faith. Many people consider lilies to be funeral flowers, because their traditional meaning is ‘strong in the faith’ and was used at the time of death to show that the person who had passed over was a good Christian.
Orchids - In antiquity, orchids were correlated with love and fertility, not least because some of the orchid family are rather phallic in shape! If you carry or receive orchids they convey the twin messages of seduction and preciousness.
Veil
There are many reasons for the bride wearing a veil, depending on the culture. In some societies the husband didn’t see his bride before the marriage and covering her face until the ceremony was over might have been a way of making sure he didn’t change his mind on the way to the wedding if he didn’t like the look of her! Our tradition of having groomsmen and bridesmaids dressed like the bridal couple harks back to a Roman superstition which said that evil spirits would be attracted to a wedding by the food and noise. If they couldn’t decide which two were bride and groom, they wouldn’t know who to fling their curses at. Covering the bride’s face was another way of confusing evil spirits.Love Knot
Young Muslim women used to send messages of love to their sweethearts by weaving a carpet whose knots spelled out their secret affection - sending messages through knots has evolved into the concept of love knots seen today on so many cards, and even wedding dresses. In Europe, young people used to make love knots for each other, tucking the ends of the knot out of sight so that the knot appeared endless, like the love they were symbolising.
Blue birds, love birds and doves
There was once a belief that love birds pined to death if their mate died. The dove was a Christian symbol of purity, and also the favourite bird of Venus, goddess of Love, and a blue bird symbolises happiness. Any or all three birds turn up on invitations and wrapping paper, to show the affection and fidelity that the couple will share.