A Toast! The drinking traditions of the wedding party

Why do we drink toasts?

As early as the 6th Century BC, the Greeks were toasting the health of their neighbours, not in the spirit of good humour, but to assure them that the wine wasn't poisoned. Poison dissolved in wine had become a way disposing of an enemy, seeing off a rival, or preventing a messy divorce. Because the wine was such poor quality it could be difficult to detect odd flavours in it, so the host got into the habit of pouring wine from a common pitcher, drinking it before his guests, and – once satisfied that he wasn’t about to drop dead, raising his glass to his friends to do likewise.

The Romans tended to handle their problems similarly – the Emperor Claudius was murdered by his wife to allow Nero to take his place. The practice of toasting was popular at Roman get-togethers as well ... I wonder why?


Why are they called toasts?
The term toast comes from the Roman practice of dropping a piece of burnt bread into the wine. This was done to temper some of the bad wines the Romans had to endure, often made worse by being carted it from the other end of Italy on bumpy roads, giving all the dregs a good shaking up. The charcoal genuinely reduces the acidity of slightly off wines making them more palatable. In time, the Latin ‘tostus’ meaning roasted or parched, came to refer to the drink itself.


Why is it traditional to clink glasses after the toast has been proposed, but before it is drunk?
Since before recorded history, people have always made a noise, like the ringing of a bell or the clinking of a glass, to frighten away evil spirits.

Over centuries, all this perfectly practical behaviour evolved into the current practice of drinking to a person's health, prosperity, happiness, or good luck. Today, wedding toasts offer congratulations and good luck to the bride and groom. Additionally, they are given as a vote of thanks to the wedding attendants, and the couple's families.


How to prepare a formal toast
Resources like This Day in History can be great for finding out a few facts to mention. Consider the date of the wedding itself, and the bride and groom’s birth dates (but not the years of their birth if they are likely to be sensitive about their ages) when you look at what has happened in the past. June 21 is summer solstice for example, The Carpenters released ‘Close to You’ on 15 May, Paul McCartney met John Lennon on 6 July ... there are loads of snippets you can weave into a good speech. Steer clear of any famous deaths or divorces though.

Also, unless you know you are the funniest thing since Peter Kaye, don’t try and tell jokes. The bride and groom want your good wishes for a happy life, not a smutty, innuendo-filled five minutes. Consider talking to the Chief Bridesmaid and both mums to gather good information about the couple if you want to say something personal, but unless you are one of the formal toast-makers, just your sincere congratulations will be fine, there’s no need to come up with some sparklingly original statement.


Eight steps to a perfect toast
1. Know what you are going to say and practice ahead of time. If you’re not sure what to day, get hold of one of the many books that lists suitable toasts.
2. Make sure everyone has a filled glass. Traditional toasting drinks are champagne, wine, mixed drinks or even non-alcoholic punch. Remember that some guests may not drink alcohol for religious or health reasons, so don’t worry if they raise water glasses.
3. Stand and face the couple, or if you are at the top table, stand at right angles to them. Maintain eye contact with the bride and groom as you deliver the toast.
4. Raise your glass up with your right hand.
5. Use a microphone if necessary. There is nothing worse than losing the audience's attention because they can't hear you.
6. Speak your toast slowly and clearly mentioning those you are toasting by name, your relationship to them and including a wish for their future happiness. If you need to use notes, your toast is too long.
7. Wave your glass to all and finish with "To the Bride and Groom" or "Cheers!"
8. Take a sip and sit down.


"Here's to you!" in other languages...
Chinese - Wen Lie!
French - A votre sante!
German - Prosit!
Greek - Yasas!
Hebrew - L'Chayim!
Hungarian - Ege'sze'ge're!
Irish - Slainte!
Italian - Alla Salute!
Japanese - Kanpai!
Polish - Na Zdrowie!
Russian - Za vashe zdorovye!
Spanish - Salud!
Swedish - Skal!


Traditional Toasting Order

• Toast to the bride: Made by the best man, or a friend or relative.
  or
  
• Toast to the bride and groom: This has all but replaced the toast to the bride.
  
• The groom's response: This should include a few words to his bride, thanks to whoever made the first toast, thanks to both sets of parents and a toast to the bridesmaids.
  
• The best man's response: The best man thanks the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids.
  
• The bride’s response: Increasingly the bride will follow the groom's response with some words of her own. It then falls to the best man to thank the bridesmaids.
  
• Others: A few words from an usher or particularly close friend.
  
• Toast by the father of the bride: On behalf of his wife and himself, he can thank everyone for attending and indicate that the festivities may now begin.

They Just Toasted You, Now What?
From time to time toasting gets out of hand and everybody ends up having their health drunk! Don’t panic. If you are being toasted:

• Do not stand, or raise your glass, or take a sip of your drink.
  
• Simply say thank you to the toaster or at least smile and nod to them.
  
• You are not obliged to propose a toast in return.

Remember
A toast is only part of the reception celebration, but it can be a very special time. In fact a well-prepared toast can be a memorable gift to both the bride and the groom.