Where do I start? How to plan your wedding without getting steamrollered
You must decide with your partner exactly what sort of wedding you would both would like.
Once you have decided on the ceremony venue, book as early as you can. Popular dates can booked anything up to a year in advance. If you want to marry abroad, buy a good reference book now, so you don’t miss out an essential step that could ruin your day.
Money is an important factor and a realistic budget should be set.
Make basic agreements in writing: the style of wedding you want, how much you can spend, who’s paying for what. Then, when pressure threatens to overwhelm you, go back to your written ‘plan’ and use it to point out, calmly and fairly, that people around you are trying to deviate from your firm and final wishes.
Consider wedding day insurance. Many insurers now offer packages to cover accidents prior to and on the big day itself - just in case.
Book the reception venue early. Visit as many possible reception venues as you can to compare what each one has to offer. It is a good idea to ask for written quotes so you can decide at home without feeling pressured. Once you have a venue, book it - in writing. Ask for written confirmation in return. Double booked receptions do happen, and you need to have your booking in black and white.
Compile a guest list and then decide on the catering. Ask the experts' advice on getting value-for-money and choices of drinks. Caterers have many years experience – use it to plan the best day for your guests.
Ask both sets of parents to help with the seating plans to avoid upsets. Plan the place-cards and favours.
Learn to live one day at a time: not for the ‘one day’ that will be your wedding day.
Now it is time to start looking for a wedding dress. Try on as many different styles of dress as you can. Be guided by the sales staff, but take a good friend with you – and take a Polaroid or phone picture of your favourite three dresses: you’ll be amazed how differently you feel when you’ve got over the aaah factor. Remember, you’ve got to wear it for a minimum of five hours, so comfort matters!
Once you have chosen your dress, buy suitable lingerie and take it to one of the fittings to ensure it works. Get those shoes and wear them in! Limping brides (or grooms) are never happy.
Be realistic about goals: if you’re a size sixteen now, you will not fit into a size ten dress in two months time without a miracle – dresses can be altered, brides can’t!
Go shopping with your bridesmaids to choose outfits.
Work out what the groom, best man and ushers will be wearing. Wedding attire needs to be hired at least six weeks in advance. This is the time to give the best man a little gift – buy him a book on his duties: making it clear that it’s not that you don’t trust him … but it is your day, after all!
Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help you clarify things and give you a renewed perspective on why you’re doing this.
You need to arrange a photographer and video for your big day. Ask to see several examples of their work. Only book someone you feel confident about, and get confirmation in writing.
Visit florists, but not on a Saturday when they are usually busy. Ask them to prepare special bouquets as thank-you for both mums. These are traditionally presented by the groom during his speech.
Invitations need to be sent out about two months in advance. There are many different designs from the formal, so think about harmonizing them with your overall theme.
Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
Book your wedding transport.
Plan your décor. Flowers aren’t necessary at the reception – balloons and decorations, swags, bombonieres and other favours look just as good and are less prone to damage.
If the bride wants her new surname on her passport to take on honeymoon, apply for the name change as soon as possible. It can take some time, especially in summer months.
Start shopping around for the best deals for your honeymoon. If you’re shy about haggling, get a mate to make the calls for you and negotiate the best deal. Once the destination is agreed, get any visas required and make appointments for inoculations well in advance – you don’t want scabby arms or blotchy reactions as you walk down the aisle!
Every day, do something you really enjoy.
Check both mothers have chosen their outfits. Ask your florist to design special corsages to match their color schemes.
Go shopping for your wedding rings.
Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful and you’ll get a lot done before the day crashes in on you!
Decide on reception entertainment. A DJ is always a good option. If you want live music, listen to tapes from potential groups and try to hear them live at least once. Remember a band will need to take regular breaks so you need entertainment to fill in the gaps. Ask your venue about facilities for taped music.
Schedule private time with your other half, to enjoy each other’s company, rather than to compare your ‘to do’ lists: he or she is the reason you’re getting married, after all!
Visit your baker or ask your caterers to recommend someone to make the wedding cake.
Ring department stores for details of their wedding list services. Or pick an online service and browse at home with your feet up! There are some excellent guides to planning your gift list – they really help you get the best from this part of the fun.
Ask someone in your family to be in charge of the guest list, ticking off names as they accept. Your venue will want you to confirm final numbers a week or two in advance.
Obtain permission to throw confetti. If this is not permitted, find out if your guests can bring rice, which the birds will eat, or rose petals. Research the vows, music and readings that are available for your ceremony – again, books, DVDs and videos make it easy for you to find the perfect content for your day.
Book your first night accommodation. Visit local hotels and ask to see the bridal suite. Check what 'extras' are included in their honeymoon package, like a chauffeur-driven car to take you to the airport next morning.
Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed as well as to help you get up earlier.
Order disposable cameras and put a couple on each table at your reception. This gives you a supply of wonderful behind-the-scenes pictures to supplement your formal album.
You need to buy gifts for the best man, ushers and bridesmaids.
Have a trial-run at the hairdressers. Take along your headdress and veil and make sure you get a Polaroid or phone picture to make recreating your hairstyle easier. Treat yourself to a make-up lesson with a professional. Take note of what they do, so you can do the same on your wedding morning, or book them to come in on the day.
Consider packing your honeymoon cases and taking them to your first night hotel the day before the wedding. That’s one less thing to worry about!
Nominate one of your bridesmaids to pack up your wedding attire after the reception and store it for you until after the honeymoon.
Assemble a small bag with your wedding day essentials, like a hanky, a lipstick, aspirin, anti-shine papers, a comb, plasters (those shoes should have been worn in by now, but your groom may get blisters too!), breath mints (all that kissy kissy isn’t nice if you’ve got death breath!), and hair grips and ask someone to keep it for you.
Smile, relax and have a wonderful day!
After your wedding:
Once you have decided on the ceremony venue, book as early as you can. Popular dates can booked anything up to a year in advance. If you want to marry abroad, buy a good reference book now, so you don’t miss out an essential step that could ruin your day.
Money is an important factor and a realistic budget should be set.
Make basic agreements in writing: the style of wedding you want, how much you can spend, who’s paying for what. Then, when pressure threatens to overwhelm you, go back to your written ‘plan’ and use it to point out, calmly and fairly, that people around you are trying to deviate from your firm and final wishes.
Consider wedding day insurance. Many insurers now offer packages to cover accidents prior to and on the big day itself - just in case.
Book the reception venue early. Visit as many possible reception venues as you can to compare what each one has to offer. It is a good idea to ask for written quotes so you can decide at home without feeling pressured. Once you have a venue, book it - in writing. Ask for written confirmation in return. Double booked receptions do happen, and you need to have your booking in black and white.
Compile a guest list and then decide on the catering. Ask the experts' advice on getting value-for-money and choices of drinks. Caterers have many years experience – use it to plan the best day for your guests.
Ask both sets of parents to help with the seating plans to avoid upsets. Plan the place-cards and favours.
Learn to live one day at a time: not for the ‘one day’ that will be your wedding day.
Now it is time to start looking for a wedding dress. Try on as many different styles of dress as you can. Be guided by the sales staff, but take a good friend with you – and take a Polaroid or phone picture of your favourite three dresses: you’ll be amazed how differently you feel when you’ve got over the aaah factor. Remember, you’ve got to wear it for a minimum of five hours, so comfort matters!
Once you have chosen your dress, buy suitable lingerie and take it to one of the fittings to ensure it works. Get those shoes and wear them in! Limping brides (or grooms) are never happy.
Be realistic about goals: if you’re a size sixteen now, you will not fit into a size ten dress in two months time without a miracle – dresses can be altered, brides can’t!
Go shopping with your bridesmaids to choose outfits.
Work out what the groom, best man and ushers will be wearing. Wedding attire needs to be hired at least six weeks in advance. This is the time to give the best man a little gift – buy him a book on his duties: making it clear that it’s not that you don’t trust him … but it is your day, after all!
Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help you clarify things and give you a renewed perspective on why you’re doing this.
You need to arrange a photographer and video for your big day. Ask to see several examples of their work. Only book someone you feel confident about, and get confirmation in writing.
Visit florists, but not on a Saturday when they are usually busy. Ask them to prepare special bouquets as thank-you for both mums. These are traditionally presented by the groom during his speech.
Invitations need to be sent out about two months in advance. There are many different designs from the formal, so think about harmonizing them with your overall theme.
Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
Book your wedding transport.
Plan your décor. Flowers aren’t necessary at the reception – balloons and decorations, swags, bombonieres and other favours look just as good and are less prone to damage.
If the bride wants her new surname on her passport to take on honeymoon, apply for the name change as soon as possible. It can take some time, especially in summer months.
Start shopping around for the best deals for your honeymoon. If you’re shy about haggling, get a mate to make the calls for you and negotiate the best deal. Once the destination is agreed, get any visas required and make appointments for inoculations well in advance – you don’t want scabby arms or blotchy reactions as you walk down the aisle!
Every day, do something you really enjoy.
Check both mothers have chosen their outfits. Ask your florist to design special corsages to match their color schemes.
Go shopping for your wedding rings.
Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful and you’ll get a lot done before the day crashes in on you!
Decide on reception entertainment. A DJ is always a good option. If you want live music, listen to tapes from potential groups and try to hear them live at least once. Remember a band will need to take regular breaks so you need entertainment to fill in the gaps. Ask your venue about facilities for taped music.
Schedule private time with your other half, to enjoy each other’s company, rather than to compare your ‘to do’ lists: he or she is the reason you’re getting married, after all!
Visit your baker or ask your caterers to recommend someone to make the wedding cake.
Ring department stores for details of their wedding list services. Or pick an online service and browse at home with your feet up! There are some excellent guides to planning your gift list – they really help you get the best from this part of the fun.
Ask someone in your family to be in charge of the guest list, ticking off names as they accept. Your venue will want you to confirm final numbers a week or two in advance.
Obtain permission to throw confetti. If this is not permitted, find out if your guests can bring rice, which the birds will eat, or rose petals. Research the vows, music and readings that are available for your ceremony – again, books, DVDs and videos make it easy for you to find the perfect content for your day.
Book your first night accommodation. Visit local hotels and ask to see the bridal suite. Check what 'extras' are included in their honeymoon package, like a chauffeur-driven car to take you to the airport next morning.
Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed as well as to help you get up earlier.
Order disposable cameras and put a couple on each table at your reception. This gives you a supply of wonderful behind-the-scenes pictures to supplement your formal album.
You need to buy gifts for the best man, ushers and bridesmaids.
Have a trial-run at the hairdressers. Take along your headdress and veil and make sure you get a Polaroid or phone picture to make recreating your hairstyle easier. Treat yourself to a make-up lesson with a professional. Take note of what they do, so you can do the same on your wedding morning, or book them to come in on the day.
Consider packing your honeymoon cases and taking them to your first night hotel the day before the wedding. That’s one less thing to worry about!
Nominate one of your bridesmaids to pack up your wedding attire after the reception and store it for you until after the honeymoon.
Assemble a small bag with your wedding day essentials, like a hanky, a lipstick, aspirin, anti-shine papers, a comb, plasters (those shoes should have been worn in by now, but your groom may get blisters too!), breath mints (all that kissy kissy isn’t nice if you’ve got death breath!), and hair grips and ask someone to keep it for you.
Smile, relax and have a wonderful day!
After your wedding:
- Notify bank, doctor etc of any changes of name and address.
- Send out thank you cards for gifts.
- Start planning your first anniversary!
